Having a Baby: A Father’s Honest Perspective
By Erik Brown
Wow, here we are five months in, and Kate is an amazing blessing. You really don't understand what it means to be a parent, to have that love, compassion, joy, fear and stress that a little one brings until you are sitting there staring at a ba...YOUR baby. I find myself daydreaming more and more, running the cold hard facts through my head. “I now have a baby. This is real. Am I ready for this? It doesn't matter. The baby is here.” The thoughts go on until Kate grabs my face and brings me back to reality with a pinch and a coo. I feel myself doing this at least twice a day, sometimes more. I thought I was ready.
The whole baby process was a chess match between the two of us. It was continuous offense and defense. I would make my move; Mel would counter, and so on. I had baby fever, so I was motivated. I was playing the game ruthless and aggressive. Mel wasn't as motivated. She had goals and dreams to accomplish before "babies" were an option. But still we played. Move. Counter-move.
Then one day Mel caved! Finally! Mel threw up her baby guidelines, the things we had to do before the baby was on the agenda:
1. New Place.
2. New Job.
3. Debt Free.
Well two out of three of those happened by the grace of God in a whirlwind of good timing. The third...well, we're still waiting on that Angel with a check to surprise us one day.
So on our Yellowstone trip...yada...yada....yada...a month later Mel wakes me up by throwing a pair of baby shoes at me and saying "We're Pregnant!!"
Disclaimer: Now ladies, I'm going to pause right there and say don't announce it like this. I know, I know, you're really excited and you can't wait any longer, but this tactic does not get the desired reaction out of us men. Thus, you get mad and upset, and all of the sudden it's our fault the cups are stacked differently in the cupboard and the cookies are left open.
In a very lethargic state I said "Uh...ok, cool." and proceeded to go back to sleep, well, tried to go back to sleep. Mel wasn't having it. She jumped on me and was all super excited and wasn't leaving until I shared the same enthusiasm. It didn't take long for me to snap into the reality of the moment. That initial state of “wake up shock,” almost landed me on the couch for a night or two.
Now this is when it really hits guys. I mean it REALLY sets in when your wife finally says those words, "I'm Pregnant". Now, it's no surprise (well, most of the time) that this was the goal, but now it's reality. Every guy starts thinking, “Am I ready for this? I still like Mountain Dew and video games. I'm not ready to grow up. What do I know about raising kids?! Well guys, I'll admit I was there. It’s true. Regret is instant. But then you start thinking, “Hey this is cool. My offspring! I can mold them into my own little mini-me.” Before you know it, joy and excitement start edging out all of the doubt.
The major turning point for me was when I saw that first ultrasound. That guys, is something magical. After seeing that little lima bean swim around in her little pool, I really don't know how anyone can even think about having an abortion. It really and truly is something special. At that moment, is when you connect and start building excitement!
The next nine months are spent watching your wife suffer (That's right, suffer.) That "Pregnant Glow," they say women, get only lasts for...I don’t know...maybe a day, two if you’re lucky. Your wife will change, both mentally and physically. Every day tasks will soon become impossible, conversations will get weirder and weirder, and don't get me started on the enhanced effects on forgetfulness. (One day, Mel found her phone in the refrigerator). Their body will become something almost alien as they grow to accommodate the human they have growing inside of them. Mel dealt with pregnancy well. I was very proud of her. She kept her cool, had very few 'extra' needs and managed to tie her own shoes even with the belly! However, I hear that not everyone is this lucky. So guys, I suggest wearing a motorcycle helmet 24/7. Don't have one? Go buy one...it's for your own protection.
Fast-forward nine months. It was 10:00pm when I got home from Mad Max Fury Road and Mel hit me at the door with "They're happening!" A little shell-shocked, I staggered back and said, "Cool, do we need to go to the hospital?" When Mel replied with a "not yet," I did what every red-blooded American would do, I went to bed. She woke me up at 2:00 a.m. saying, "It's go time!" After all this time of waiting, this is a rush of relief. To roll up into the hospital and say, "We're having the baby now, tell the doc to grab his catcher’s mitt. If he needs me to throw the ball around a bit to warm up his hands, let me know. Oh...and, STAT!"
Now before, like I said, as the guy, you find yourself soul searching and asking yourself all sorts of questions you don't know if you have answers to. I'm here to tell you that the moment you hear their cry and see the little purple and red potato that is your baby, a switch clicks from unsure to ready. It just happens. You just instantly get into dad/parent mode. I'm convinced that it must be a dormant gene that triggers when you see your first child. Everything becomes clearer and it's like you knew what to do all along. Click. You are now responsible for this little person’s well-being, health, and growth. It is all on your shoulders. Mel had a C-section and after the baby was born, she had to stay in the operating room a little longer than I did while they finished the procedure. While that was happening, the nurse took me into the next room where I had some time with Kate. This is where it all became clear. Those ten minutes or so were very special. It was just me and baby girl snuggling while she was wrapped up in her baby burrito. I said a prayer, cried, snuggled, and realized that this is it. The final stage is here. From now on, “it's go time.” Kate is finally here and we get to start writing our story as a family of three.
It's like that rare case, where a sequel is better than the original, and in our case, it totally is!
By Erik Brown
Wow, here we are five months in, and Kate is an amazing blessing. You really don't understand what it means to be a parent, to have that love, compassion, joy, fear and stress that a little one brings until you are sitting there staring at a ba...YOUR baby. I find myself daydreaming more and more, running the cold hard facts through my head. “I now have a baby. This is real. Am I ready for this? It doesn't matter. The baby is here.” The thoughts go on until Kate grabs my face and brings me back to reality with a pinch and a coo. I feel myself doing this at least twice a day, sometimes more. I thought I was ready.
The whole baby process was a chess match between the two of us. It was continuous offense and defense. I would make my move; Mel would counter, and so on. I had baby fever, so I was motivated. I was playing the game ruthless and aggressive. Mel wasn't as motivated. She had goals and dreams to accomplish before "babies" were an option. But still we played. Move. Counter-move.
Then one day Mel caved! Finally! Mel threw up her baby guidelines, the things we had to do before the baby was on the agenda:
1. New Place.
2. New Job.
3. Debt Free.
Well two out of three of those happened by the grace of God in a whirlwind of good timing. The third...well, we're still waiting on that Angel with a check to surprise us one day.
So on our Yellowstone trip...yada...yada....yada...a month later Mel wakes me up by throwing a pair of baby shoes at me and saying "We're Pregnant!!"
Disclaimer: Now ladies, I'm going to pause right there and say don't announce it like this. I know, I know, you're really excited and you can't wait any longer, but this tactic does not get the desired reaction out of us men. Thus, you get mad and upset, and all of the sudden it's our fault the cups are stacked differently in the cupboard and the cookies are left open.
In a very lethargic state I said "Uh...ok, cool." and proceeded to go back to sleep, well, tried to go back to sleep. Mel wasn't having it. She jumped on me and was all super excited and wasn't leaving until I shared the same enthusiasm. It didn't take long for me to snap into the reality of the moment. That initial state of “wake up shock,” almost landed me on the couch for a night or two.
Now this is when it really hits guys. I mean it REALLY sets in when your wife finally says those words, "I'm Pregnant". Now, it's no surprise (well, most of the time) that this was the goal, but now it's reality. Every guy starts thinking, “Am I ready for this? I still like Mountain Dew and video games. I'm not ready to grow up. What do I know about raising kids?! Well guys, I'll admit I was there. It’s true. Regret is instant. But then you start thinking, “Hey this is cool. My offspring! I can mold them into my own little mini-me.” Before you know it, joy and excitement start edging out all of the doubt.
The major turning point for me was when I saw that first ultrasound. That guys, is something magical. After seeing that little lima bean swim around in her little pool, I really don't know how anyone can even think about having an abortion. It really and truly is something special. At that moment, is when you connect and start building excitement!
The next nine months are spent watching your wife suffer (That's right, suffer.) That "Pregnant Glow," they say women, get only lasts for...I don’t know...maybe a day, two if you’re lucky. Your wife will change, both mentally and physically. Every day tasks will soon become impossible, conversations will get weirder and weirder, and don't get me started on the enhanced effects on forgetfulness. (One day, Mel found her phone in the refrigerator). Their body will become something almost alien as they grow to accommodate the human they have growing inside of them. Mel dealt with pregnancy well. I was very proud of her. She kept her cool, had very few 'extra' needs and managed to tie her own shoes even with the belly! However, I hear that not everyone is this lucky. So guys, I suggest wearing a motorcycle helmet 24/7. Don't have one? Go buy one...it's for your own protection.
Fast-forward nine months. It was 10:00pm when I got home from Mad Max Fury Road and Mel hit me at the door with "They're happening!" A little shell-shocked, I staggered back and said, "Cool, do we need to go to the hospital?" When Mel replied with a "not yet," I did what every red-blooded American would do, I went to bed. She woke me up at 2:00 a.m. saying, "It's go time!" After all this time of waiting, this is a rush of relief. To roll up into the hospital and say, "We're having the baby now, tell the doc to grab his catcher’s mitt. If he needs me to throw the ball around a bit to warm up his hands, let me know. Oh...and, STAT!"
Now before, like I said, as the guy, you find yourself soul searching and asking yourself all sorts of questions you don't know if you have answers to. I'm here to tell you that the moment you hear their cry and see the little purple and red potato that is your baby, a switch clicks from unsure to ready. It just happens. You just instantly get into dad/parent mode. I'm convinced that it must be a dormant gene that triggers when you see your first child. Everything becomes clearer and it's like you knew what to do all along. Click. You are now responsible for this little person’s well-being, health, and growth. It is all on your shoulders. Mel had a C-section and after the baby was born, she had to stay in the operating room a little longer than I did while they finished the procedure. While that was happening, the nurse took me into the next room where I had some time with Kate. This is where it all became clear. Those ten minutes or so were very special. It was just me and baby girl snuggling while she was wrapped up in her baby burrito. I said a prayer, cried, snuggled, and realized that this is it. The final stage is here. From now on, “it's go time.” Kate is finally here and we get to start writing our story as a family of three.
It's like that rare case, where a sequel is better than the original, and in our case, it totally is!