Over the past month, I've thought about how I need to post in my blog. I've also thought about how I need to clean, do laundry, organize...well...everything, do the dishes, buy clothes for Kate, make food for Kate, try to stick to a pumping schedule because my milk isn't coming in well anymore, make an effort to pay attention to the cat who has been starved for attention since Kate arrived...and the list goes on.
Then there are things I want/need to do for myself: Biblestudy, reading, research for work, journaling everything about Kate's development and what new things she's been doing so I won't forget, practice Italian, budget, and again, the list goes on. With so many things to do and such lengthy lists I have made, each day I find myself frustrated and feeling like a failure. I don't come anywhere close to getting even half of those things done. I find myself feeling anxious, sad and defeated despite how hard and long I feel like I try every day.
Sometimes I have to be content with the fact that (hopefully) everyone is fed, clothed and (for the most part) clean and call it a good day.
Each day this week I have been throwing up feeble and desperate prayers, "Lord, I know I can't do it all. I know I need you. Show me how to ask for help. Show me how to be rid of the guilt of not getting it all done. Show me how to prioritize what's important. Show me how to be the wife and mother you created me to be despite all of my shortcomings.
Then tonight I read this:
"But He was pierced for our transgressions. He was crushed for our iniquities. Upon Him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with His wounds, we are healed." Isaiah 53:5
The truth is, the only thing that truly matters is Jesus. Yes, we will fail. But that is exactly why Jesus died. He died so that we can have peace through Him, be healed of our sins and live our lives with the peace, love, forgiveness and grace that only our loving God can provide through Jesus Christ.
That, my friends, is what really matters. That doesn't mean I won't still try my best. But it means I can find peace in knowing Jesus already went before me and conquered. I encourage each of you who are feeling like failures today. Remember that we are all failures compared to Christ Jesus. But, He went before us and paid the prize for that failure so that we can have peace. Take time to thank Him for His sacrifice today.
Then there are things I want/need to do for myself: Biblestudy, reading, research for work, journaling everything about Kate's development and what new things she's been doing so I won't forget, practice Italian, budget, and again, the list goes on. With so many things to do and such lengthy lists I have made, each day I find myself frustrated and feeling like a failure. I don't come anywhere close to getting even half of those things done. I find myself feeling anxious, sad and defeated despite how hard and long I feel like I try every day.
Sometimes I have to be content with the fact that (hopefully) everyone is fed, clothed and (for the most part) clean and call it a good day.
Each day this week I have been throwing up feeble and desperate prayers, "Lord, I know I can't do it all. I know I need you. Show me how to ask for help. Show me how to be rid of the guilt of not getting it all done. Show me how to prioritize what's important. Show me how to be the wife and mother you created me to be despite all of my shortcomings.
Then tonight I read this:
"But He was pierced for our transgressions. He was crushed for our iniquities. Upon Him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with His wounds, we are healed." Isaiah 53:5
The truth is, the only thing that truly matters is Jesus. Yes, we will fail. But that is exactly why Jesus died. He died so that we can have peace through Him, be healed of our sins and live our lives with the peace, love, forgiveness and grace that only our loving God can provide through Jesus Christ.
That, my friends, is what really matters. That doesn't mean I won't still try my best. But it means I can find peace in knowing Jesus already went before me and conquered. I encourage each of you who are feeling like failures today. Remember that we are all failures compared to Christ Jesus. But, He went before us and paid the prize for that failure so that we can have peace. Take time to thank Him for His sacrifice today.